Over My Head
by Doctor Addison Montgomery
Summary: Zain centric. Waiting to be interviewed by MIT, Zain’s thoughts are on a woman but her name is not Kristen Shaw. Oneshot. Songfic.Please review! xXx


**Over My Head**

**Summary:** Zain centric. Waiting to be interviewed by MIT, Zain's thoughts are on a woman but her name is not Kristen Shaw. One-shot. Songfic.  
Song is 'Over My Head' by The Fray.  
Reviews are gratefully received! Vikki xx.

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_I never knew_

_I never knew that everything was falling through_

_And everyone I knew was waiting on a cue_

_To turn and run when all I needed was the truth_

_But that's how it's got to be_

_It's coming down to nothing more than apathy_

_I'd rather run the other way than stay and see_

_The smoke and who's still standing when it clears_

He couldn't expect loyalty from his co-workers or even his friends. He had abused all of their trust and for what? He hadn't gained anything; anything at all. He now knew that he didn't love Kristen Shaw, he never had and he knew too much about who she was and what she stood for to ever love her. He had sacrificed so much to help her and he still didn't understand why. Zain Nadir had taken on this undercover operation in order to bring her down and to finally find redemption for his little sister. He hadn't found that either and instead he had lost his job, he had betrayed his parents and he had lost the woman he truly loved.

The interview room at Sun Hill Police Station was darkened and the plastic cup of coffee in front of his was now a little cooler than lukewarm. He reached out and pushed it away from him. He was alone in the small room that smelled stale with the aromas of sweat and cigarette smoke. It wasn't meant to be this way; he wasn't supposed to be sitting here like this. The delightfully cocky young DC Nadir, with a promising future in front of his should be taking the interview and getting the results he wanted. Zain wondered what had happened to the old him, the him who had a job he loved with a decent wage and a woman waiting for him when he got home. Suddenly he had none of that and he felt empty, the feeling in his gut just couldn't be ignored. Now he was facing disciplinary action and most likely a good few years in prison for his involvement with Kristen Shaw and the murder of Honey Harman.

_Everyone knows I'm in_

_Over my head_

_Over my head_

_With eight seconds left in overtime_

_She's on your mind_

_She's on your mind._

Sarah Adams returned to her flat alone, the lights were all off and it looked unwelcoming and cold. Since her break up with Zain nearly two months earlier she had been spending less and less time there, choosing instead to spend more of her time at work. She balanced out the bags of grocery shopping in her arms and searched frantically in her handbag for the front door keys. Once inside, Sarah dumped her shopping down on the kitchen table and turned on the television. She had lived alone before, for a long time, but since Zain had lived with her the place felt so empty, background noise was a comfort to her. She unpacked the shopping and stored it away in the cupboards, realising once more that she had bought far more food than one person could possibly eat in a week. The evening news was about to start as Sarah sat down in front of the television with a cup of coffee and a bowl of pasta. She pushed it around in the dish, she felt something was wrong but couldn't put her finger on it.

_Let's rearrange_

_I wish you were a stranger I could disengage_

_Just say that we agree and we never change_

_Soften a bit until we all just get along_

_But that's disregard_

_You find another friend and you discard_

_As you lose the argument in a cable car_

_Hanging above as the canyon comes between_

The breaking news bulletin caught Sarah's attention as she placed the bowl on the coffee table in front of her and pulled a cushion up to her chest.

"The body of a woman found in the Thames has positively been identified as twenty-six year old PC Honey Harman from local police station, Sun Hill."

Sarah sat upright, she had met Honey on a few occasions and she had liked her. She had seemed bubbly and full of life, she had been fun to be around and Sarah didn't like to think of her as being a murder victim. The broadcast continued.

"Two suspects are currently being questioned in connection with the death. A source can reveal that they are businesswoman Kristen Shaw and fellow officer DC Zain Nadir."

Sarah's eyes opened wide with shock. How could they think that he was possibly involved with all of this? Zain had proved himself to be a lot of things recently but one of them was not a murderer. Sarah knew that he had been involved with this Kristen Shaw both professionally and personally because it was the reason why she and Zain weren't together anymore. She still loved him and he said he still loved too but Sarah didn't know if she was ready to continue their relationship now that he had betrayed her. However, she knew that she couldn't abandon him when he needed her. She quickly changed out of her work suit and put on a pair of black jeans and a hooded top before heading down to the station.

_Everyone knows I'm in_

_Over my head_

_Over my head_

_With eight seconds left in overtime_

_She's on your mind_

_She's on your mind._

It was late in the evening and Sun Hill was partly deserted, it was in between shifts and it was quiet as Sarah entered the main reception. She was relieved to see a familiar face behind the reception desk; it was her friend Rachel's old brother PC Dan Casper. He stepped out from behind the desk and gave her a brief hug. Sarah smiled thankfully.

"You've heard about Zain then?" Dan asked softly although it was more like a statement.

Sarah nodded. "I just heard it on the news. Is there any way that I can see him?" She asked, trying not to let her voice betray her emotions.

Dan looked down at the floor and then met Sarah's eyes.

"I don't know Sarah, but I promise I'll try."

Sarah smiled briefly. "Thanks, Dan."

_Everyone knows I'm in_

_Over my head_

_Over my head_

_With eight seconds left in overtime_

_She's on your mind_

_She's on your mind._

MIT had interviewed him once and he had told them that he was there when Honey Harman was murdered but he was not responsible. Zain wasn't sure if they believed him or not but they had questioned and he had been taken to a holding cell to wait for more questioning. It was surprisingly quiet which meant Zain had nothing to detract his thoughts away from his uncertain future. He sat against the cold stonewall and leant his head against it. He hadn't slept in what seemed like a week but he had never felt less like sleeping, he knew his nightmares would haunt him.

Footsteps distracted his attention and his heart sank, they couldn't be back to interview again already, could they? He looked through the cell bars and saw Dan Casper deep in conversation with the custody sergeant. Zain couldn't quite make out their conversation, and then Dan disappeared for a few seconds. The familiar sound of the cell door being opened followed by a figure entering caused Zain to rub his eyes.

"Zain?" Sarah asked, crouching down on the floor beside him.

"Hi," He smiled, overcome with several emotions. He was relieved that she was here but he just wished it were for some other reason.

"I came as soon as I heard." She told him, taking his hand and rubbing it with her fingertips.

"You didn't have to." Zain replied it came out a little more coldly than he had intended. He corrected himself. "I mean I'm glad you're here."

"What happened Zain?" She asked. "Tell me everything."

_And suddenly I'm becoming a part of the past  
I'm becoming the part that don't last_

_I'm losing you and it's effortless_

_Without a sound we lose sight of the ground_

_In the throw around_

_Never thought that you wanted to bring it down_

_I won't let it go until we torch it ourselves._

Fifteen minutes later, Dan appeared in the doorway nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"MIT want to see Zain again, Sarah I think you should go." He said, but not unkindly.

She sighed and pushed herself up from the floor.

"You didn't do anything wrong." She told Zain. "Well, nothing that they can hold against you." He understood the double meaning of her words, she may still love him enough to be here for him but letting him back into her life was a completely different matter.

"I'm glad someone believes me." He said.

"I have faith in you Zain, I know you're not a killer." Sarah said. She leant down and kissed his cheek before letting Dan escort her from the cell.

_Everyone knows  
She's on your mind  
Everyone knows I'm in over my head_

_I'm in over my head_

_I'm in over…_

On the 15th March Zain Nadir was charged with perverting the course of justice and being an accessory to the murder of Honey Harman. Sarah sat in the court, hoping and praying that the judge would go easy on him but no one liked a bent copper and they were making an example of Zain. Kristen Shaw was also on trial and Sarah watched with guilty satisfaction as she was sentenced to life imprisonment for the murder of Honey Harman and illegal drug trafficking.

Zain was being defended by Rachel Casper but even her legal expertise weren't enough to reduce his sentence to any less that five years imprisonment with the chance of parole after three. He could also kiss his career in the police force goodbye. Sarah sighed and forced back her tears, as he was lead away. She couldn't help but feel like she was partly to blame; maybe if she had stood by Zain earlier on he never would have ended up in his situation.

Rachel let Sarah say goodbye to Zain before he was taken to Longmarsh Prison. She stepped inside the small cell and threw her arms around his neck.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered. Zain released his grip on her so he could looked at her face.

"You're sorry?" He laughed ironically. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

Sarah reached out and took his face in her hands before giving him a gentle kiss on the lips. She then turned to go, Zain caught her lightly by the arm.

"Will you come and visit me in prison?" He knew it was a lot to ask of her.

Sarah lost her battle against her tears, she shook her head sadly and slowly.

"I'm sorry," She mumbled, leaving the cell. "But I can't…I can't wait for you."

Zain tried to mask his hurt but he was tired to living a lie and constantly putting on an act. "I love you, Sarah."

She sniffed, trying to regain some of her composure.

"I love you too." She whispered, loud enough for only them to hear.

_Everyone knows I'm in _

_Over my head_

_Over my head_

_With eight seconds left in overtime_

_She's on your mind_

_**She's on your mind.**_

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_**Okay, so not a very happy ending but I tried to make it as realistic as possible!  
Please review:D x


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